Hey, so you probably saw my recent tweets and was wondering what is going on… Truth is, I’m just being me and expressing myself.
As you know, I pay £9,000 per year to attend University to learn more about two subjects I love and I’m passionate about. That’s cool, I’m paying to learn, so what? However, it’s not just about learning about a subject or two. I’ve learnt so much about myself over the past four years and those learns are priceless.
In my first year of Uni, I started to become ill. This was the start of my eating disorder. This was just the start of my major life lessons. This changed my life. I guess I tried to ignore it and be a different person, I used to always tell myself I was ok, I was lying to myself and those around me. I wasn’t ok. I was breaking. However, some good came from my first year of Uni. My baby cousin was born and I can honestly say, that day was one of the best of my life. He brought such positivity and sunshine into my life. He still does to this day.
I faced some battles that year, but I never gave up. I came back fighting. My second year of Uni was when it became bad. I was officially diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. I wasn’t in control of my life and what was happening around it, my weight and eating was the only thing I could control. This was the year it got so bad. My BMI was so low that I was literally a walking wreck. I was almost admitted to hospital because of it. I hid it from so many people for so long and it took a huge toll on my life. I shut myself off from people. I stopped going out and interacting with my friends. I became isolated.
However, once I finally acknowledged what was going on, the battle became much easier. I was no longer going to let it choose how I lived my life. I wanted to be me again. I changed my life so to say and it was the best decision I ever made.
Two years after being discharged from the eating disorder services, I am happier than ever and couldn’t be prouder of how far I’ve come.
I’m currently in my fourth and final year of Uni and I’m honestly so thankful. I’ve learnt so much about myself and how strong I am. I’ve become confident enough to post lame videos to YouTube and open up to you guys, I’ve had incredible support from you guys, my close friends and family – something I will be forever grateful for. I have also learnt who my friends are. Every now and then you lose contact with people, some may not re-enter your life. There is a reason for that. I have some friends I can go a year without seeing and when I see them, it is like nothing has changed. That is true friendship. You may see people all the time and act all smiley with them but deep down you know it’s fake, you don’t need those people. Trust me.
I guess the morale of this post is, always be yourself and you will honestly learn to love your life and those around you. Yes, I pay a ridiculous amount to be taught about English & Education at Uni, but the priceless lessons I have learnt are so much better. I found myself, my real friends and most of all, true happiness. You become friends with people for a reason, they enter your life for a reason. To this day, I still speak to my form tutor from high school and would class her as a great friend. She was always there when I needed somebody to talk to and I know she is there now if I needed advice.
What is meant for you will not pass you by.