It all seems so fun when you’re young – playing with your friends, summer bbq’s, school trips – then as you get older it starts to dawn on you just how dull growing up can actually be. You suddenly realise you’re 22 years old, sat at your desk on the other side of the country to your friends and family, studying a Masters, a freelance writer and contemplating applying for a PhD (Doctor of Philosophy in International Journalism). I mean, who would have thought it? If you follow me on social media, you will know that I didn’t really enjoy my time as an undergraduate and sometimes wished I had become a ‘university drop out’ – something I’m glad I didn’t become.
A few people I was once ‘friends’ with back home always told me I wouldn’t ever complete university as an undergraduate and laughed when I told them I had applied for to continue in education but who’s laughing now? Certainly not me. The same person who mocked me actually ended up leaving university, so I guess karma works in mysterious ways? If you constantly repeat something to somebody, they’re bound to completely show you up and show you that they are capable of doing the opposite of what you say. You say they can’t get a degree? Watch them leave university with a degree.
Being best friends with that person for a long period of my life certainly ensured we had a lot of memories filled with joy and happiness but one can’t help but remember the negativity associated with that friend. Being constantly brought down, being the second option, being used as a pin cushion so they could bitch about people then be their best friend the day after? It just didn’t make sense. I was trapped. Mentally and physically, there was no escape.
Now I haven’t seen or spoken to that person in a year, I’ve never felt more relaxed and happier. Although we still have a few mutual friends, their name is never brought up, there’s no pictures of us on social media (the powers of untagging and deleting) and we no longer live in the same area – phew. I no longer see/speak to a lot of people I was once friends with, for a similar reason. We simply grew apart. As you get older, you suddenly realise that having a small group of real friends is much better than a large group of fake bitchy friends that always make you feel as though you have to be watching what is said or having to text somebody for the latest gossip on you.
Growing up is deflating, you do get bored of the same old stuff day in day out but it’s what makes you, you. Summer bbq’s and playing with friends turns into summer bbq’s and summer garden parties and school trips turn into road trips. Although you feel a lot more tired and socialise with a lot less people, you are still the same person inside.